The Port-a-Potty

Technically Matt's the homeowner. I'll be a homeowner of said home in 6 months. Well 6 months 3 days. Don't judge me. Every wedding website imaginable sends me an email every day giving me a specific day to day count down. Matt's a really good homeowner. He idols Bob Vila. When we were all watching Sesame Street, Matt was watching "This Old House." (Although sometimes Matt is more like Tim Taylor from Home Improvement).

You know when you're a kid and working on the yard and improving the house was a chore? Now that Matt has his own house, it's a hobby. He loves it. Come to think of it, I don't think even when he's working on his parents house it's ever been a chore to him. Little Mr. Fix it. He has the tiniest little tool belt that his grandpa gave him as a kid. And a tool box with MATT on it.

Matt has single handedly put in an entire lawn at the new house. Like, he started with dirt. He built an entire flowerbed in the front and the back. He's done several walk throughs the house, making note of anything the contractor needs to fix within the first 6 months. He uses a tape measure for everything. So by now I should have convinced you that Matt takes pride in his home.

We are in a new neighborhood, so currently the two lots on each side of our house are being built on. Matt is talking to me on his way home and tells me that there's a Port-a-Potty on our side walk. I'm like, what? What do you mean? On our side walk? Do you mean more like on their property? He said no, like right in front of our house. I still don't believe him. That would be absurd right? I guess not.

Seriously? There it is, right in front of the house. So the next morning I call our builder and talk to a woman who must be 87 years old. I tell her that we have a small problem. I say that they've put a Port-a-Potty right in front of our house and that it's not very aesthetically pleasing. I even express that Matt has spent a lot of time working on Christmas decorations for the yard. She replies "Well that's not much of a decoration is it?" I said "Its like an enormous ornament."

The whole thing was easily dealt with, no blood was shed, and as of yesterday, no more Port-a-Potty.

Posted in: Funny Stories