Mixed Emotions

I can not recall a time in my life when I have felt so many intense emotions in a short amount of time. Last Wednesday I left Lubbock to go home for about a week. I stayed with my mother and father in law the first night and picked up my puppy who I so so desperately missed (he was away for about 3 weeks, because my in laws were kind enough to watch him while Matt and I were both out of town in different places). Seeing my puppy ( and my in laws) helped make my heart feel whole after an extremely draining couple of weeks working on finals.

The next day I headed "home" and saw my mom and dad and brother, and hugged the neck of my best friend and got to play with the sweetest little girl who I believe must have grown a foot since the last time I saw her. My heart felt even more whole.

Friday evening, I watched one of my heros graduate at the top of his class from high school. My baby brother, Joe. Proud is an understatement. He even mentioned me when he gave his valedictorian speech. He spoke of how much he admired me and looked up to me for pursuing my education. Of course I cried. What a special evening that I will never forget.

The next morning, I picked up my best friend in the whole world to take to her graduation in Shawnee. It took her a while, but amongst having a full time job, and a child, that girl showed the world what determination was about and I sat there and cried, so proud to call her my friend when they called her name to receive her bachelor's degree. She is an incredible individual and I was so so blessed to get to share that day with her.

That evening, my parents threw a graduation party for my little brother. Family came in from out of town and I got to play with my three year old cousin, visit with my aunt and uncle, and sing with my cousin Dakota. We sang "The House that Built Me" for my mom, I watched her get a little emotional from such a special song. That's a memory that I'm not likely to forget.

Mother's day was really  nice, and I was blessed to get to surprise my mom with a pair of earrings that she had really wanted. I also felt really blessed to be there that day. We live so far and sometimes I have to miss major events, which really breaks my heart. My mom had surgery recently, and it made me feel terrible that I couldn't be there with her. But on that day, Mother's day, I was there for my mom.

The next day (Monday), I got to be there to celebrate my best friend's birthday. We saw "The Lucky One" and got our nails done and had lunch. It reminded me of all the great times we've spent together. It reminded me that time and distance will not have an affect on our relationship.

I also got to take some graduation pictures of her that evening. I'm starting to get back in to photography, and that makes me happy.

I had lunch with a wonderful friend, Brandie on Tuesday. I hadn't seen her in a really long time and getting to catch up was great. After I visited with Brandie, I went to go see my grandpa. I knew that he had been having a rough patch, so I wanted to check on him. I walked in the door an knew something was wrong. The nurse and doctor said that it wasn't looking good. However, we had been told that before. I thought I said my final goodbye to him 8 years ago, but he's been with us enriching our lives ever since. I called my mom and she went up to stay with him. I had a bad feeling about it, so I took my brother back up there and let him know how much I loved him and what a blessing he had been to my life.

The next morning Joe and I headed to Midland. We had to get back and I had some stuff for work to sort out. I got a call from Matt that day that a family friend, Angie, had passed away. We were aware that it was coming soon, but it was still really heart breaking. I believe she was 38 years old. My love and prayer goes to her family, and to Matt's sister, who was Angie's sister in law and best friend.

Then I read that my dear friend Crissy, had her baby boy Mason. I knew she was so so excited to be a momma, and I am so pleased with her little blessing. She and Chase are going to make wonderful parents.

Today I woke up and started getting the house put together before we leave again. I went grocery shopping and made lunch. Then I got a call from my dad. My grandpa has left this world. It's so so sad to see him go. My mom and he had gotten very close since he moved down here about 8 years ago. He enriched our lives in so many ways. I know that God has his perfect timing, but it still hurts to know that he is not here any more. We used to take him chocolate shakes all the time when we would visit him. After Joe and I collected ourselves, we went out and had a chocolate shake for him.

When I got home, I saw that one of my best friends, Krissy, had her baby girl Amelia today. I had been praying for quite a while for a safe and wonderful baby and momma when this special day came. I am so happy for her and Scott. They're going to be great parents, Amelia is lucky to have them.


It's amazing how many ways life can turn. Happy, Joyful, Despair, Peace, Sorrow, Glee. I've felt all of these things in the last week. I'm grateful, not only for the happy moments that have occurred, but also to have had the opportunity to know those who we have lost.

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