My Comps Experience ~ Vida Bonita

I can't believe that I am actually volunteering to look at a computer screen right now but part of getting through the ridiculousness that was my comprehensive exams was the ability to eventually write about it, so here we go.

In my program (and a lot of graduate programs I think) upon completion of our courses we take what I believe they call "Qualifying Exams" which we all refer to as "comps" for comprehensive exams. In this experience you take a 72 hour exam in each of your major fields over weekends back to back. My major fields are Public Administration (emphasis on environmental policy) and American Politics. At 10:00 a.m. on Friday you receive an email with several questions and you pick three from those questions on what you want to write up to twelve page essays (each) on. Within these essays you need to utilize the literature to support your arguments. This sounds simple enough but three twelve page essays which cover three years of reading in 72 hours is quite a task, for me anyway. And by three years of reading I mean a bookshelf (like the whole book shelf) of books and countless articles. I finally stopped printing the articles because I couldn't take how many trees they were consuming, and my binders were getting extremely heavy.

So I developed a strategy for comps like a year in advance. Working from home is hard for me to stay focused. I decided I was going to take the money for January I would typically pay in rent and apply it to a hotel in Stillwater for each weekend so I could be alone and use OSU's resources (library, printing, good computers, nice working environment, etc).

I packed my bags and three boxes full of books so I could tackle the first exam, Public Administration. I booked a hotel on Hotwire which was across town, but in Stillwater across town really isn't much of an issue.

The Thursday before the exam I went to Stillwater so I could do a little more studying and tie up some loose ends with my dissertation. I am working on an awesome project but somehow many of the deadlines for it also coincide with my comps. Ugh. It also gave me the opportunity to stay with Lo, who by the way was so helpful during my comps. She brought me coffee and food an continually asked me if I needed anything. What a great friend. I would have starved without her and Joe.

So I find the perfect spot in the library. This is going to be my spot. This TV is bigger than our TV at home and it's the computer monitor. It was like research at the IMAX. There's my coffee drink for scale.

Friday morning Joe and I got up early so I could get a good meal before the exam started. I barely slept at all the night before because I drank a coffee drink in the afternoon. I don't know what I was thinking. So I had a nice egg white omelet stuffed full of veggies and some yogurt--and a lot of coffee.

This was Joe's breakfast. Life isn't fair.

OSU really is a cool school. They have grown immensely in regard to their sustainability efforts. There was recycling everywhere and information on their energy initiatives and there was even cool spots where I could refill my water bottle like this. What a place.

So here I am about to get started. Waiting for the email. Here goes nothin.

After reading the email and deciding the questions I wanted to answer and creating an awesome 8 page outline for how I wanted to approach the task I realized that there were several books that I needed. We had reviewed several theorists in my classes but I was never required to jump into the actual texts for many of them so I ventured off to find them. This worked out because I am a genius and decided to do my comps in a huge library. I went to check them out and it hit me. I'm not a student there any more. I had to fill out a form for a courtesy guest card. Ouch. That's like your parents asking you to knock when you come over. You're not really at home any more.

I did learn that I am quite the pro at the Dewey Decimal System. If that book is on the shelf I am going to find it. Unfortunately sometimes it isn't on the shelf --I suspect due to some college employees that don't take particular pride in their work. I actually had a friend in college one time that parked in a handicap spot during an ice storm and he got a huge ticket for it. The judge negotiated a community service opportunity where he had to re-shelve books at the OSU library to work off his fine. No wonder I couldn't find some of them! (Note: friend if you're reading this--I am sure you did a good job but you may be the exception to the misdemeanor rule).

After I get back from my search I realize that the computer is logged out. I panicked a little and then I said a prayer thanking the Lord for the forethought to save my outline before going on my book finding adventure. So I simply logged back in and went to my documents and pulled it up. Where is it? Um...

And then I see this.

And then I feel this.

Several hours go by and I am on a roll collecting my sources and nailing down my plan of attack. And then I was told the library was closing down and I had to leave. What? It's only six pm?? Doesn't this place stay open until like 2 am? Well being the genius that I am... I hadn't considered the alternate hours the school would have the weekend that Christmas break ended. Great.

That was also a very strange experience for me because I wasn't the sort of student that spent a lot of time in the library on a Friday night. I certainly wasn't the sort of student that was ever there so long that I was asked to leave...

So I relocated to my hotel. Matt even brought me my second screen. What a wonderful man. After a quick dinner in the hotel I kicked him out so I could keep working.

Which wasn't fun.

The next morning after far too little sleep I worked at Starbucks for a while. They spelled my name correctly so I considered that an omen of good things to come. Did you know that if you have the Starbucks app they'll give you free refills while you're in the store?

I went back to the library and Joe brought me a charger so I could use my iPad for my e-books. But sometimes e-books are just too much to ask for.

When I was really feeling the pressure I got some encouragement from my best boys.

And then I got to the third day. The third day is when you know that even if you stay up all night you really are running out of time. You need to get this done... and it simultaneously needs to be amazing. Not only are you trying to cover the range of resources but you're also trying to consider all of the advice you've been given by the graders (there are 3 for each exam). Talk about this person this person and this person. Make sure you note the flaws in their reasoning. Apply their theories to later literature. Make an argument and stick to it. Use the literature to reinforce your ideas. Cite everyone but don't just do a literature dump. AHHHH!!!!

Take a shower to wake yourself up and finish that last essay. Try not to make it look like it was the last essay.

And now you're done. Now you can spend the next several weeks questioning every decision you made until you get the results.

I went home and straight to bed knowing that I needed to keep studying for my second round. Pistol is a real sport when it comes to naps.

I put Matt in charge of dinner that night.

Sometimes fortune cookies really get you.

So for the next 3 days I studied, worked on my dissertation, and Skyped into a class that I am taking. Then it was time to pack again. I wanted to go down to Stillwater early on Thursday to get settled. Instead of the box route, I decided to use a suitcase for my books for mobility.

While I Skyped into class Matt went to the OSU/TCU basketball game. He had dinner with my brother Joe at Fuzzy's Tacos and then came home. I was already in bed trying to rest up because the completely exhausted approach the weekend before was truly terrible... especially since it started from the very beginning. We talked for a bit and Matt complained that his stomach was hurting. We both went to sleep and then around three in the morning I hear Matt. He is obviously very sick. I decided it was probably food poisoning which was disappointing because the Fuzzy's chicken salads had made up a large part of my diet during the last round of exams. After a long night I took Matt to the Urgent Med in the morning. It was worse than food poisoning. It was Flu A. CONTAGIOUS FLU A. The single most terrible thing that could happen to me would be to get the flu when I am taking my exams. I disinfected the house, got Matt a bunch of medicine and clear liquids and jello and got out of there.

This time I stayed at The Atherton which is actually on campus. A nice short walk to the library. I called and asked if I was entitled to a discount due to being Alumni Association members or Posse members so I could take my test. Well some how the fact that I was taking a test entitled me to some crazy discount so it was even cheaper than the rate I had on Hotwire for the previous hotel. HECK YES! It even came with complementary breakfast at The Rancher's Club.

So I'm ready to start again. Is that the same sweater you wore on day one last time? So it's my favorite sweater... back off.

Gosh, OSU really is lovely even if you're stressed out to the max. Ottomans and mini desks on a couch? Don't mind if I do.

Yeah... I obviously never spent time in this area in college.

Joe picked me up for a nice dinner break at the end of the first day.

And then I worked as late as I could stand it in the hotel.

The next morning I got up and wanted to work in the library. It's just a good working atmosphere. I had so much stuff but since I would be there like ten hours I decided it would be worth it to walk over there and get set up. And then I passed a nice group getting a tour on the beautiful day that it was. I was kind of embarrassed because it probably looked like I was struggling with all the stuff in my back pack and the multiple binders and computer I was carrying. I went to the south doors. They were locked. Maybe on Saturdays they don't have someone man that door due to low traffic. So I walk all the way around the library to the north doors. It's locked. WHAT? I look at the schedule. Due to MLK weekend and the school holiday Monday they were holding extremely short hours for the weekend. GAH.
I tried to take a picture in the window so you could see how much crud that was strapped to my body. So back to the hotel I went. They say what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Well this didn't kill me but I was literally stronger by the time I got back to the hotel room because that stuff was seriously heavy.

Sunday. Crunch day. The library was open from 11-6 so that was where I spent that time. I really do like writing but the pressure was awful. It's so nerve wracking to think you might miss an author that's really important or you may misinterpret and thus report on their theory which makes you wrong which could decide your fate on the exams. If you fail you have to wait 8 months to take it again and if you fail twice you get kicked out of the program which would mean that this was a horrible horrible waste of time. I mean sure, I have made great friends and enjoyed being advisor in the sorority at Tech and learned so much but weighing that against the time away from my family and the stress and the cost just doesn't equal out for me. I will be truly devastated if I don't pass. That may sound like a bad attitude but it would make me feel horrible and it would honestly be detrimental to my ego. I have worked hard and I need to yield some fruits from my labor. But I did my best so we will see how it goes. I appreciate your prayers and your positive thoughts. I like to think that if you're reading this you care about me and want what is best for me.

After staying up all night (for what I hope is the last time in my entire life due to academics) I submitted my exams at 9:38 a.m. I think I did a good job. I hope I did. I certainly worked hard and can't say what I would do differently. Now we wait.

I came home and there was a package for me from my best friend Danielle. She sent me a card with some encouraging words about my exam. She sent an OSU bracelet and an adorable baby shirt that said Oklahoma State Cowboys on it and told me that I needed to get the baby fever. In my state of exhaustion I just laughed at the idea and put the shirt on Pistol and sent her a picture.