A Resolution We Can Actually Achieve-Plastic Bags

Something tells me this blog post isn't going to get a ton of traffic and that's okay. This is about something that I am passionate about (I say passionate, you may say crazy nut). Plastic bags.
As an environmentalist I try to maintain a balance between reducing and reasonable. I could totally make everyone I know and love crazy with environmental antics. For example, when it comes to the bathroom...I just think there is lower hanging fruit that we can venture to tackle before using reusable toilet paper (did you see that episode of extreme cheap skates? That's disgusting).

One thing that is super easy to do to reduce our impact on the environment is eliminating stupid plastic bags. I have talked about this before. I am going to talk about it over and over until it finally kills me. Death from exhaustion discussing the perils of plastic bags. My mother in law posted on my Facebook this link to Dallas ban on plastic bags. The video is something like 2 minutes but if you don't have the time (really?) then here's the gist. No more plastic bags at grocery stores. You have to pay five cents per plastic bag of which 90% goes to the city and 10% goes to the store. I love this. If you're a "Don't tread on me, you can't tell me I can't have plastic bags! This is a liberty!" kind of person all I can tell you is... tough. If that makes me an extremist liberal hippie...that's completely fine.

It might seem like I am being aggressive about this subject. It might seem like I am getting my way (in a place where I don't even live) and I just don't care what anyone else thinks and I am just that selfish of a person. But really, walk with me through this. I am finally in the habit of bringing my own bags to grocery stores. It took a little while. It seemed much more convenient to just take what they gave me. I finally, in college, decided that when I forgot I was going to make myself walk to my car and go get the bags that I leave in my trunk. It took about two of these annoying experiences and now I remember at the grocery store just about every time. Those reusable bags also hold so much more than the plastic bags do. Do you ever feel like the grocery checkers get a bonus if they hit a certain quota of bags given away? In reality they are probably just tired of being yelled at by people who have absolutely no regard for anyone else and demand more bags. I would be fired if I worked in retail for lecturing customers and refusing to give them bags they don't need. I would probably put that firing on my resume.
Anyway, so the convenience factor when it comes to plastic bags is actually negligible. More stuff in fewer bags makes it easier to get my items in my car and in my house. Remembering to take them in, I mean my goodness we could eventually teach a monkey to do this. Given about a dozen treats, I could probably teach Pistol.

Well what about cleanliness? Welp... reusable bags are made out of cotton. Do you know what else is made out of cotton? Your clothes. You wash those, don't you? So, periodically, I throw my bags into the washer especially if they tend to contain meats or produce items. Sometimes if I only need a few items, I also use my bags as a hand basket. Do you know how nasty those carts and baskets have to be? So am I saying that I might even AVOID germs by having my own bags? Well... yes. Yes I am. Crazy liberal hippie.
Speaking of cleanliness. An exception to the plastic bags ban is the use of produce bags. I also have reusable produce bags. But even when you think about it, I don't see the value in using produce bags unless you have something like green beans or brussell sprouts (multi-item produce). I realize that people probably want to avoid putting their produce on the conveyor belt due to germs. Okay, I see what you're saying. But are you seriously naive enough to think that a bunch of nasty unwashed hands haven't already handled your produce? You need to wash that when you get home. All of it. If you're going to wash it anyway, what does it matter if it's on the conveyor belt?

So I went to Kohl's the other day. If you need your baby fix, I got Cline some adorable pajamas with this Kohl's cash I had. I spent $0 if you need your extreme couponing fix. I told the woman checking me out that I didn't need a bag and I would just carry the items myself. She told me that I absolutely could not leave the store with merchandise without a bag. I knew that wasn't true because I do it all the time. Here's the deal, if you're not trying to steal anything, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to bringing in your own bags or refusing to accept them. I am more than happy to show my receipt to anyone that could potentially approach me (they never have--not even in department stores). It's not a big deal. I just got off the phone with the Kohl's store manager to make sure that it wasn't some store policy that you had have a bag (cloth or plastic) when checking out... maybe I had just been getting away with it this whole time. OF COURSE IT IS NOT TRUE! What's this lady's problem? Does that give her a sense of authority? "YOU MUST TAKE A BAG!". I should have taken my stuff out and handed the bag to her. But then she probably would have thrown it away instead of recycling it. And then my head would have exploded.

I thought about getting really scholarly for you in this section about the impact of plastic bags on the environment but that would probably be where readers stop reading and it would take me a ton of time to do in-text citations and what not-- but rest assured if you want to debate this I am ready to go down this path with you. Just google "Environmental Impact of Plastic Bags" or watch the documentary "Plastic Paradise." The consumption of plastic is a real and very present issue and if we would look up from our phones for a moment to notice the world around us, we would realize that we have to stop ignoring important issues.

And ya know the real kicker to all of this? Despite my efforts, I still some how end up with those stupid plastic bags. We use them as trash bags which I guess is better than buying plastic bags (generating more consumption--creating waste to hold waste) but I am fully prepared to come up with another plan if we could run out of them because we have FINALLY stopped consuming them.

So all I can say is, more power to ya Dallas! Keep up the good work! Bring this policy to OKC! To the entire US! The World!  I'll give a prize and highlight on my blog (a prize in itself, right?) to anyone living in the Dallas area that writes an essay six months from now on "How the ban on plastic bags has truly impacted my life for the worse." Something tells me there wont be any takers.

But let's take this down a positive path. If you're still with me... a great New Year's Resolution would be to cut out the consumption of plastic bags. You could legitimately get to 2016 saying, ya know what? I did it. I'll highlight you all OVER this blog if you tell me on January 1, 2016 that you cut your bag consumption by 75%. You can do it!

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