Spirit of Giving

It has been a really long time. My days are so busy any more and when I want to blog I feel guilty because I should be spending any free moments working on my dissertation. My grading is done for the semester so I am free to work on it for a month. Except for when I pick up Cline. Buy groceries. Fold endless (ENDLESS) laundry. Clean the house. Make dinner. Plan Christmas gatherings. Spend quality time with my husband. Teach Cline to be a prodigy. Figure out if teaching to be a prodigy is a thing. Try many things so I can figure out what would make her a prodigy. Read baby book. Disagree with baby book. Everyone has plenty to keep them busy. I'm not exceptional. I just feel guilty when I don't use dedicated time on my dissertation. Like right now. But I don't care. I need to get this off my chest. Instead of a ridiculously long Facebook post (I don't think that's a good forum for "getting off of the chest" but that's just me) here we go. I wouldn't call this a rant. More of a reflection.

Each year we pick an Angel off the Angel Tree. Now before you go off thinking I'm trying to self glorify, please let me tell you that I'm not that kind of girl. It's the very least we can do and I think I get about as much enjoyment out of it as the child does. My love language is gifts so this totally rings my bell. It also makes me fall more in love with my husband each year. When I have picked a child, created a strategy for shopping for her, made a mental budget, collected my coupons to maximize the money spent, and am ready for check out.... Matt comes along and has doubled my order with no regard for the price. Oh, you got 3 shirts? Well she needs a coat, three more shirts, this is a cool toy! Oh, she needs this too. His unquestioning generosity makes me weepy. And then I daydream about this child waking up to a wonderful Christmas morning and think "Man, life is good. That's what it's all about." We shopped at Kohls this year. Matt had to take Cline to the car so I checked out by myself. As I was walking to the car my eyes welled up with tears. I thought about how we were able to provide gifts for Cline this year without question and how ridiculously blessed we were to do that. And then I thought about the kid we were buying for and her mom. I thought about how this wasn't some huge gesture that we deserved to be patted on the back for. This was just one mom helping out another mom. You never know what could happen and next year me and this mom could be switching roles.

It's no secret that the price of oil has impacted many families right here in this community. What if Matt lost his job and I wasn't able to graduate until December next year? What if we just didn't have the money to make ends meet and give Cline any gifts or new clothes for the winter season? What if our parents were also unable to help us give her a Christmas? Would you, knowing me, pass judgment on me? Would you say I needed to live with my decisions and work harder? I should provide for my own? My point is, I don't think anyone should pass judgment on someone if they ask for Christmas help, for help for food, or transportation. Sure, some people cheat the system, but do you realize how many people really benefit from the help? Good, solid people who just haven't been blessed quite as much as others?

I recently learned that there is a University of Central Oklahoma food pantry, of which many professors visit. People with not only degrees, but advanced degrees need help with groceries. Still think they needed to make better decisions? For grins, go look up how much money an adjunct professor makes. It's crazy.

On December 2nd, I got an email from Oklahoma Foster Wishes. It said that as of that day, there were still 500 lists of foster children in Oklahoma that had gone unclaimed. They said that the gifts that were donated were likely to be the only Christmas presents those children would get this year. I don't know enough about the foster system to understand why children under foster care wouldn't be given a Christmas present but it's not my job to ask questions. I read that email and from my desk I can see our Christmas tree and all of the presents set out for Matt, our friends and family, and my child. So I emailed the organizers and they sent me a list. A nine year old boy. He asked for craft materials. He just likes to make things. My goodness.

I worked at the Angel Tree with Matt's grandma last week.
A woman came by and by all appearances, and being honest, she didn't really look like she had two pennies to rub together. I wasn't trying to be judgmental, but from appearances she didn't look like she had a lot to give, perhaps she may have a child on the angel tree. Nope. She came to bring her Angel gifts back. ALL SIX OF THEM. Six bags filled to the brim. Not just a couple of wishlist items. One bag had 35 items in it. It included all kinds of toys AND clothes. All I could think was, "Why don't I have a heart like hers? I want to be more like the person that I had just cast many misconceptions." Or maybe she DIDN'T have two pennies to rub together. She just had that great of a heart of giving.

There were still too many Angels left on the tree. Many teenagers, in their formative years that could probably use someone, even a stranger, telling them that they love them.
Jesus is the reason for the season. It's such a great time of year to not only show our friends and family that we love them, but to appreciate the gift that is God's son. I don't believe we are winning any hearts for Jesus by critical Facebook posts. But I do believe that we can communicate God's love when a child opens a gift from a stranger and asks, "What would make someone want to do this for me? Who taught them to do this?" We can say all we want but it's the things that we do that makes a lasting impression.

Oil and gas prices are really low right now. It has a lot of people very worried about their future. Maybe while filling up at the gas tank, we should take that extra money not going in the tank and put it in the red kettle. Maybe we could give to a food pantry. Maybe we could donate a coat. Maybe we could give ridiculously... because really, is any of it ours? Can we really take credit for what we have? I know I can't.

Merriest of Christmases to you and yours. May you bless, and be blessed this season. #gracehasbeengiventome

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