We Had a Baby

Cline turned 1 month old on Sunday. This is the first realistic moment I have had to write this blog post and I need to do it quickly because I have grading to do. I was given some help with some of my grading due to the new baby and I don't want to take advantage of their kindness by not meeting the deadline.

So let's do a brief third trimester wrap-up.

Symptoms:
I got tired again. Not like the first trimester, but certainly more tired than the second. Sleeping got really difficult. I had a carefully constructed pillow fortress to help support my body. It was really uncomfortable. I was more grouchy but I don't think it was so much a hormone thing as being really uncomfortable and lacking in sleep. I gained some weight in the third trimester but most of my weight gain was in the second even though I grew and grew in the third. I'm not sure how that works but that's what the scale said.

The Baby:
The third trimester is nice for lots of reasons. You get to have your shower(s) and it's just incredible the kind and generous things that people will do for you. Her room was finished and that was a relief. You can feel your baby every day and that's reassuring as well as just neat. You also get the reassurance that if for some reason your baby needed to be born, the odds of your baby living increase more and more with each passing day. Not that it's a guarantee, but crossing that 27 week threshold just feels better. I worried all the time that something would happen to her and it was a small piece of torture. I guess those are just momma instincts at work. I asked my friend if she felt the same way when she was pregnant. She said yes... and it only gets worse after they are born. I'll never sleep again!

Nesting:
I kind of thought that one morning I would just wake up and I would be on a cleaning rampage. That's not quite what nesting was like for me. I try to keep a pretty clean home as it is, so preparedness was more of my nesting approach. I did go through and sterilize all of our toothbrushes one day because that felt critical. And I also discovered I have an inordinate number of toothbrushes. I also ruined Matt's Sonicare toothbrush head. Those are apparently not supposed to go in boiling water... it just sort of wilted and the bristles fell out. My mistake.
I felt the extreme urge to consume all of our food. Not at one time or anything but it was important to me that our pantry was empty. I wanted to only have fresh food in the house when she got here so that made for some interesting dinners for a while as I tried to use up ingredients.
I was convinced that we needed to be completely stocked up on household and toiletry items. So we went to Sam's Club. We wont have to buy toothpaste again until 2018.

A really pregnant person:
The end of the third trimester is rough. Matt and I were both born early so I was convinced that Cline was coming early. So around 36 weeks I was ready for go time at any moment. I caused myself unnecessary anxiousness. It didn't help that I was having LOTS of Braxton Hicks that would last for hours and would get to a few minutes apart. I had to learn to just ignore them.
Let me tell you something for your own good. Do not tell a 36+ week pregnant person anything about her pregnancy. Just leave her alone. AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT say anything about that baby needing "more time to cook." The reality is, the baby is in most cases better off staying cozy inside of momma and developing. The pregnant woman knows this. But there comes a point when you get past 37 weeks and you know that statistically your baby should be fine and this long (nearly a YEAR!) experience could be over any day now and you can meet that precious creation of yours. Plus at the end you just hurt (or I did). My body ached. I felt so heavy. I wasn't sleeping very well. I wasn't accomplishing much except strange tasks. Telling a very pregnant person to stay pregnant is like saying "I don't love you. I want you to be tortured. Deal with it!" Obviously that's not what the person means. The person is coming from a kind place wanting the baby to be nice and healthy. But that's just not a helpful comment because then you feel like a really selfish mom for wanting the baby to come out. All you really can say to someone in that position is that you're sorry they're uncomfortable and you're really looking forward to meeting their baby too.

The Big Day:

We had an ultrasound that morning. My doctor wanted to see how big the baby was. My belly was pretty big towards the end. I didn't think I needed another ultrasound because she would have had to be north of 10 lbs before I would have been willing to have a c-section conversation and hearing she was 9.5 lbs would have just scared me. But we went and I looked forward to seeing her face one more time before she was born. They said she was 8lbs 3 oz which was a number I could deal with, and was right on track based on previous ultrasounds. Matt and I had a big lunch and then I went to get my nails done. In my anticipation I was trying all kinds of things to get that baby to come out and so after my nails I walked around the neighborhood. And then I called Matt. It was "go time." He rushed home and after laboring at home for about an hour we went to the hospital. I'll spare you my whole birthing story because I am just not the kind of girl to put that stuff on the internet. If you ever have questions I'll more than likely be happy to answer them. I don't intend to force my birthing storing on every pregnant person from here until the end of time because I have respect for the fact that every one is different and I HATED when people told me how my birth was going to go based on their experience. I don't have a scary story though so I don't have to worry about offending any future women with frightening them with an awful experience. What I can say is that when they say it's all worth it, it's true.

She has been here a month now. The first couple of weeks were tough. We were so tired. We had the great fortune of people coming by and bringing us meals. We still get a couple a week which has been really helpful. I also made several freezer meals before she was born so I have barely cooked anything since she has been born. She is a good baby. She is sweet and curious. I can totally see myself being one of those "I have the best baby that ever existed and if you say otherwise you're nuts" moms. I'll try not to be that person.. even if I think it to myself. I think everyone just thinks they have the greatest kid.
Getting up to feed her in the middle of the night isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I mean, it's not fun but I was really nervous I was going to be resentful of the experience because I know that I really do not like to be woken up. I guess you just get over it and do what needs to be done when it's your kid. If I don't provide her nourishment and comfort, who will? I can't just let her suffer. If you're asking "Where's Matt?" in all this the answer is he is right along with me. There are some things that a dad just can't do, but for the things he can he does. I'll say, watching your husband love your child does offer another opportunity to fall even more in love. This little girl is so ridiculously blessed.
She changes so much from day to day. I am looking forward to every moment of watching her grow. Not only does she have parents that love her, but this whole experience has proven that we have an incredible support system and she has family and our friends to support her throughout her life. I am so grateful to everyone who has helped us during the pregnancy, since she has been born, and the future.
Now that I am getting used to her and better understanding her needs, know that if you come over it's entirely possible that I'll give you a job to help out. It's really hard in the beginning because people tell you that they are willing to help if you need anything and I really do think they mean it. But I had no idea what I needed help with. Also, you might say okay I am coming over at 2:00 but she may be asleep or eating at that time and it would stress me out if I knew you were giving me your time and I wasn't prepared for you. Well now if you come over you're probably gonna get handed a baby while I go take a shower or work on my work or something with a list of instructions. Just hold her. If that doesn't work stand up and bounce. Pat her bottom. Then go outside, she likes to look around. If that doesn't work try singing to her. For the next 10 minutes you're on your own pal.
My friend Meredith came over last week. She got about 6 steps into the house and I handed her the baby. I might not have let her put her purse down. Looking back she very well may have been holding her purse for the 3 hours she held Cline. There was this mountain of laundry in the chair I had been staring at all day and I just could not let the day go by without accomplishing folding that stupid laundry. It was eating at me. It was completely therapeutic to fold that laundry. I felt like a whole new woman after she left.

It's safe to say that my whole life is going to be different. I think that is what I signed up for though. I am still going to work even if I have to do it with her on my lap. I even got one of those wrap things that she likes half the time. I am still going to go on dates with my husband. I even hired a baby sitter yesterday and next week we are going to go a whole half a mile away from the house and have dinner alone. We will still travel even if we have to amend our strategy. I like to think of Cline as "in addition to" rather than taking from any part of my life. She is pretty great. Let me know when you want to come over and meet her. Just be prepared to potentially be given a task while you're here. It takes a village!

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