People You Can Joke With ~ Vida Bonita

After a little bit of thought, I have come to realize that there are some people with whom you can joke and it's no big deal, no hard feelings, everyone has a good laugh. And then there are those who you cannot. Now I would give myself credit for having a pretty good sense of humor. Upon first meeting someone, I generally give them the benefit of the doubt in the humor department and assume that they can joke too. Now when reading these posts you have to remember that I write these from my own perspective, but I also realize that I am completely imperfect and I am certain that I can offend people just as often as they offend me. Just so that we're all on the same page. So anyway, I was thinking about the very different relationships that one can have with others simply based on humor.
Here's some examples:

Danielle and I are basically sisters. We can joke together all the time and no one gets hurt. Most recently I've been giving her a hard time about this crazy chair she puts the baby in, but she knows I am kidding and I realize the utility for this strange looking chair (it helps the baby sit up). She'll also be the first person to let me know if something I am wearing is strange or if I need to be nice, and she LOVES a good laugh at my expense. She and I have established this relationship and it's great, and it really helps our friendship. She is also my rock when I have a disagreement with someone else. She has the superb ability to always see my side and where I am coming from and tell me that I am right. What are friends for??!? As you can tell, I cherish Danielle. She's pretty much the perfect person for me in the friend department.

Now with Matt.... our "humor" relationship is completely variable- almost always because of me (You see Matt, I am admitting it!). A lot of times, I really think Matt's a funny guy. His mannerisms are hilarious. However, sometimes he doesn't have a gauge for "it's not time to joke right now". To a degree, it's really not fair to him that he's only allowed to joke when I am in a good mood, because when I am in a bad mood.... oh my goodness... jokes are not funny. They're a very very bad bad idea. I guess that's something we'll have to work on together. But, if in the end, a humor gauge is the biggest thing we have to fight about, I suppose in the world of relationships, we're doing pretty good. I love you, Matt! (See I'm in a good mood- joke away!)

I have no idea how Laura and I are friends. That started off wrong. I mean, I really like her and we talk a lot and get along, but we are extremely different people. I talk all the time and she thinks before she says anything. Sometimes I don't know when to joke with her. Sometimes I don't realize that she's joking with me. I feel like that drum sound (bah dum dum ching) should come after her jokes, just so I am sure. She's so quiet sometimes, that I find myself over analyzing the things that she says. She probably finds humor in the fact that she gets into my head.

Now her friend Christiane (she's my friend now, too). I can't joke with her at all. No matter what I say, I inevitably end up putting my foot in my mouth. Within like the first 30 min of meeting her I said something along the lines of education majors not being that hard (there's more to why I said that... not just being a jerk!) and she was like "yeah... I am an early childhood education major." Well crap. Then I start talking about people who can't just spell their name normally and how it makes me crazy. Then she says "My name is Christiane, spelled with an e at the end" Geez! I'm really not that easily embarrassed, but I felt terrible. It's even worse because Christiane is just so darn nice and it would break my heart if I hurt her feelings. Luckily, she actually does have a pretty good sense of humor.

Now there's a person (it would be rude to mention their name) that THINKS we can joke, when actually, we cannot. Everything this person says just crawls up my skin. The worst part is, I don't think they realize that they aren't saying humorous things. They are just saying things that are either self righteous or completely rude. The confrontational side of me wants to just tell this person off. But the Christian side of me says I shouldn't. This is hard. You know, I realize that the Lord would not want me to tell this person what I think. For a moment, it would make me feel better to put this person in the position they have put me in for quite some time now. However, about 5 min later I would feel awful. Making someone else feel small does not make me feel big. Also, I might need this person's 2nd cousin to give me a job one day and because of my poor relationship that I developed I might get passed over. This could cause a major ripple effect that I have not anticipated. Being the bigger person is one of the most difficult things I struggle with in so many dimensions of my life, and I AM big enough to say that more often than not, I fail. However, every day is a new day, and I am going to do better.

I think the greatest thing you can do for another person is to make a conscious effort in your relationship with them. It's kind of easy to do things like buy something to make them feel better, but what is a greater gift than meditating on your relationship and doing everything you can to build them up emotionally?